Backfire
by Dawnmoon76
Summary: What happens when Havoc and Breda decide to prank Fullmetal? What happens if they fail? Many different pranks they pull, trying to succeed , and failing. Some other characters *coughRizacough* Might get pulled in a few times. Give me ideas for pranks too! And how badly you want the 2nd Lts. to be hurt.
1. Chapter 1

**AN: This is going to be a bunch of one-shots about Havoc and Breda pranking Ed. I already have a few written and they are only about a page to a page and a half in microsoft word. All of them are connected. These first two are the closest. **

The Fullmetal Alchemist AKA Edward Elric did not scare easily. In Risembool, he and his brother were the ones pulling pranks on everyone and Halloween? Totally their night. It brightened up the otherwise boring town. When Ed became a State Alchemist no one in the military knew this though. So after about a year of being a State Alchemist the people under Colonel Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist, decided to prank the not so new newbie. It was just going to be a simple jump out of the closet as he passes by prank. Easy right? Wrong. Jean Havoc was hiding in the closet in the hallway by Mustang's office. Mustang himself knew not of the prank about to go down right outside his doors. The hallway was empty as a thirteen year old Edward walked down it with his little brother Alphonse radio Heymans Breda alerted Havoc that the target was closing in. Havoc then jumped out yelling a rather pathetic 'Boo!'. Al screamed and jumped back, too bad that wasn't how Ed reacted. He reacted rather...violently. His hand swung out, his right hand, right into Havoc's jaw. The automail fist connect slamming the 2nd Lieutenant into the wall. Ed then grabbed Havoc's arm, pulled him forward and kicked him down the hall. By then Mustang came out of his office to see what the scream and bangs were about. What he didn't expect was his 2nd Lt. laying on the ground moaning while holding his ribs and jaw. And the youngest State alchemist standing there with a look of confusion and surprise on his face.

"What happened here?" Roy was trying his hardest not to laugh at his subordinate.

"I believe that he was trying to scare me." Ed said waving his hand at the man on the ground.

"Why would you do that Havoc.?" Roy asked.

"It was supposed to be funny!" Havoc exclaimed. "And how was I supposed to know he'd react that way?!"

Mustang turned towards Ed.

"Al screamed." He shrugged while Al rubbed the back of his helmet sheepishly.

"Well, next time Al, DON'T SCREAM!" Havoc yelled.

"You scared me though." Al defended.

"We were trying to scare your brother!"

"Enough, Breda get out here." Mustang sighed.

"How'd you know?" Breda asked as he handed over the radio.

"Havoc here kept saying 'we'. Now get back to work." They all separated to continue their work.

They wanted to try again, although Havoc refused to be the person who jumped out. This time it was the same closet but Ed was walking in the opposite direction than last time. This time his left side was facing the closet. Al was already in the office waiting for his brother to come back. They came back from a mission but Mustang was out for lunch so they decided to wait in his office. Ed left to use the bathroom but was walking back now. Being on his left was a safety measure so someone didn't get slugged with his automail hand and Al wasn't there because Breda and Havoc thought Ed only reacted that way because to him his brother screaming meant danger. Havoc was waiting for the right time to tell Heymans when to jump out. 3...2...1. "Roar!" Breda yelled.

Inside the office Al heard two thumps and a slam.

Outside Ed kicked Breda with his left automail leg. He hit the wall with a thud. He was then grabbed by the wrist and pushed back into the closet making another thud. The door then slammed closed.

"Fullmetal?" He heard his Colonel ask of the thirteen year old.

"Uh, what?" Breda could hear the confusion in the kid's voice.

"Brother what happened?" Al came out of the office then.

"The same that happened last week but with Breda jumping out. The door opened let the hall's light shine on the 2nd Lt. He lifted his hand in a weak wave to his superior officer.

"Again really?" Mustang sighed. "How bad?"

"Bruised if not fractured ribs and a couple other bruises." Breda replied wincing a bit.

"Wow kid, you can cause a lot of damage with two hits." Mustang said.

"I technically hit him once then pushed him back into the closet. I hit Jean twice." Ed replied.

"Which led to a nearly dislocated jaw and bruised ribs." Jean grumbled as he walk towards them, rubbing his jaw and ribs.

"Why are you trying to scare Fullmetal?" Mustang asked of his subordinates.

"Well it was only going to be a one time thing but it didn't work the first time, so we tried again." Havoc explained.

"So are you going to keep trying until you succeed?" Mustang asked.

The two looked at each other.

"Good luck then!" He smiled then escaped from Fullmetal into his office.

"Colonel!" Ed shouted while pounding on the door.

"Brother, alchemy." Al said.

"You are evil Alphonse he could've been doing that for hours before giving up!" Roy yelled. Ed then proceeded to yell and curse the Colonel until Riza Hawkeye came along and broke everyone up. Mustang never got his report from the brothers did he? Eh, Alphonse will get it to him later.

**AN: What did'ya think? Please review and if you have any other ideas for pranks let me know! They have to be ones that would backfire in some way. Hehe. **

**Havoc: So, are we just going to get hurt in all of them?**

**Me: No.**

**Breda: Oh good.**

**Me: Just most. *smiles innocently***

**Havoc & Breda: *Gulps***

**Me: If you have any ideas on how the pranks backfire let me know that too!**

**~Dawnmoon**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: I will post weekly my prewritten ones. After that I will let you know when they will come slower. After thi one I have eight written. So about two months. In those two months if I don't post by Sunday, say, noon (Or close) You are allowed to complain and nag until I post. Alright? Enjoy!**

They decided to prank Fullmetal. It gave them a wider range of options to choose from. The prank was going to be shaving cream in hand and tickle nose while he's sleeping. Fullmetal just crashed when he got back. He gave a report and passed out on the couch in Mustang's office. Despite all the yelling and insults they did care about each other so Roy let Ed sleep there for a while. Havoc walked in to give Roy some papers when he saw Ed laying there. He smiled evilly and ran out of the room. Mustang just shook his head and continued his paperwork. Havoc came back with Breda, shaving cream and a feather. The Colonel raised an eyebrow but pretended not to notice. He knew the kid would react rather violently, according to the bruised faces and ribs of his 2nd Lieutenants. It was rather amusing to watch two grown men being thrown around by a thirteen year old. They tip toed quietly to their prey. It really wasn't needed because the kid sleep like a rock in familiar/safe places. Havoc put some shaving cream into Ed's left hand, (they figure he's left handed now because of the automail). Breda then use the feather to tickle his nose. They were standing behind the couch leaning over waiting for a reaction. And boy what a reaction they got. Ed reached out with is right hand and grabbed the front of Havoc's uniform. Swung him up and over the couch and landed him on his back on the coffee table. Ed sat up and grabbed Breda's coat, he was then punched in the face with the shaving cream fill hand. Ed was sitting up blinking tiredly at Havoc and his left hand. He then proceeded to wipe the cream on Havoc's jacket and fall back on the couch after seeing that there wasn't any real danger. Hawkeye, who had walked in to give a report, and Mustang were both trying to stifle their laughs should they wake the young alchemist. He was very irritable and angry in the morning or if someone woke him up and he couldn't fall back asleep. Havoc lay on the ground on top of the broken coffee table, silently thanking any and all higher being that they waited until after their ribs healed completely. He groaned and got up and walked behind the couch and stood next to Breda staring at the sleeping boy.

"Why does he react like that?!" Havoc whispered yelled, throwing his hands up.

"It's just his instinct." Mustang shrugged.

"He's a kid! What kid has instincts telling them to punch things that quickly?" Breda asked.

"He joined the military not even a year ago. Plus I heard he had Izumi Curtis as a teacher." Roy said.

"Who?" Riza asked.

"The craziest person to ever live. Probably the most violent too. Now would you all kindly shut up." Ed said from the couch.

"This is my office, Fullmetal." Roy said.

The glare Ed sent them was enough to get them to scramble. No one wants to deal with a cranky Fullmetal.

**AN: Okay so short, yes I know. Sorry. But that's why it is posted early. Well that and Lengendarily Quiet. (Sorry if I spelt it wrong. I don't have it in front of me at the moment.) The next one will be up on the 6th. If it's not let me know. I check my email daily. :)**

**REMEMBER: YOU CAN GIVE PRANK IDEAS! I have a few planned and more already written. **

**~Dawnmoon**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: This one is my second favorite so far. My first favorite is yet to be posted.**

They decided to try another prank, they were not going to give up until they succeeded. Fullmetal and the others were on a train heading towards Central for a meeting. Ed was sitting by the window sleeping. Alphonse and Roy were reading and Hawkeye came down with the flu so Roy brought his 2nd Lts. Breda and Havoc. They were whispering to each other. They finished and nodded once. Havoc took out a marker and started scooting closer to the sleeping alchemist. When he got close enough he started to bring the marker up to Ed's face. Before he could get any closer though Ed pushed Havoc's hand away. Havoc didn't expect Ed to move so he didn't resist when the marker tip got pushed into his face. He yanked the marker away and tried again. The marker was pushed again but he was ready so he pushed harder. Unfortunately so did Ed. Both Al and Roy just sat there amused.

"He wasn't like this in the office when he sleeps!" Breda whispered.

"If he feels safe in a location he sleeps heavier. You have to touch him to wake him up, or scream. In an unfamiliar place he'll sleep lighter and just if someone moves towards him he'll move or wake up." Al explained.

Havoc sighed. "Breda?" Said person seemed to know what Havoc was hinting at and he tried to grab Edward's wrist. He grabbed the right one first then reached for the left one. When he had a hand around that one did Ed wake up a bit more. He jerked his left hand away (The one not facing the window) and ended up hitting the marker again, straight into Havoc's face. It made a long, thick black streak across his right cheek. The first mark only leaving an inch long line above his left eyebrow. Breda tried to grab the hand that Ed freed because it seemed Ed was still mostly asleep. He succeeded but also succeeded to get a solid kick to the groin from, thankfully, Ed's right leg. He let go of the teen's wrist in favor of falling to the ground moaning. Ed, in his sleep induced mind, saw the marker as a weapon and grabbed it from a surprised Havoc. He then tried to stabbed him. The marker grazed his neck, right where the major artery was, if it was a knife he would be dead. Ed then turned towards Breda, believing Havoc to be dead from the 'wound' on his neck. Breda saw it coming and rolled, not very far because they were in a train compartment, and managed to get only a thin line on his uniform coat. Ed blinked once and stared at the two 2nd Lts.

"You're pretty deadly with a marker Fullmetal." Roy said sarcastically.

"Oh shut up." Ed grabbed the cap from Havoc's slack grip, capped the marker and threw it out the window and went back to sleep. Breda was able to get Al to use alchemy to get rid of the permanent marker on his jacket. Unluckily for Havoc, the same could not be done for his face or neck.

"Where is 2nd Lt. Havoc?" A General from southern command asked.

"He ate something bad one the way here and is currently emptying his stomach in our hotel room." Mustang replied. The other officers looked vaguely sick themselves and continued the meeting without further question.

Havoc was in the hotel though not throwing up whatever 'bad' thing he ate. He was hiding there with a laughing Alphonse.

**AN: Remember to review! My next update will be on the 13th. If it's not up by the 14th let me know.**

**~Dawnmoon**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Okay so this is really short. I have decided to post another one tomorrow night.**

When they got back from the Central meeting Havoc only had faded gray lines on his face. They all decided just to crash at the office because they all car pooled to the train station and back. No one felt like driving and Ed didn't feel like walking nor did he want Al to carry him anywhere. Everyone kicked off their shoes. Ed claimed the couch right away. Why were they tired? Oh jut another Homuculus attack. They had to walk back to the train tracks (about two miles) only to find that the train had left without them. They had to walk for about two hours until they reached the train station, where both Roy and Ed had enough energy to yell at the conductor for leaving them behind. Riza had come to pick them up she and Al had to pull them away. Riza was the least tired person who could drive so she drove to HQ (She was still tired because she was still slightly sick). Now Havoc and Breda were dragging their bootless feet across the carpet. Riza came back with cots for everyone and a book for Al. When Havoc reach for his he jumped back quickly while holding his hand, staring at the cot in betrayal. Breda then tapped him on the shoulder and got them the same reaction. Breda smiled then nodded towards Ed who at that point was half asleep. Both of the 2nd Lts. shuffled their way toward the alchemists while Roy was laying on his stomach watching him. He didn't know why he let them try. He knew that somehow Ed would be able to turn this on them, even if he was asleep. Al pretended to read while watching the two men. They leaned over the couch and slowly reached their hands out. The shock was going to be big. At the same time they touch Edward's arm...and jumped back with identical screams. Ed sat up quickly eyes wide open in alertness. When he saw where he was he laid back down and went back to his almost sleep. (It took awhile to actually fall asleep.) Havoc and Breda's hair were both standing up slightly. Roy smirked, realizing what happened, and rolled onto his side to follow Ed into sleep. Riza continued to stare at them from her sitting position on her cot. She then shook her head then laid down.

"What happened? Did it work?" Breda asked.

"No, you touched Brother's right arm." Al said quietly.

"So?" Havoc asked.

"His right metal arm. He didn't feel a thing. Your screaming woke him up."

Grumbling, the two men went to their cots, making sure not to shuffle their feet.

"How'd we forget that?" Breda grumbled. They were asleep within seconds.

**AN: Next post 9-13-14 (Tomorrow.) Let me know what your favorite parts were! I love reviews. I was a little disappointed about the amount of reviews for the last chapter. :'( *pouts* Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: As promised chapter 5. I can't wait to post chapter 6, it's my favorite so far. **

"Breda, I have something else." Havoc whispered.

"Will it, in any way, backfire on us?" He asked tiredly.

"I don't think so. The only way I can think of is if someone else picks it up. But that won't happen because we'll hand it directly to Ed." Havoc smiled.

"Okay, what is it?" Havoc then started explaining the prank to Breda.

Ed was in Mustangs office reading his next mission. Breda and Havoc walked in with some papers and a sundae. Mustang raised an eyebrow at the sundae but kept quiet, waiting for an explanation. Havoc just pointed to Fullmetal. Roy nodded not completely understanding why ice cream was supposed to be a prank. He sat there, watching them walk over to Ed.

"Hey Ed!" Havoc greeted cheerily.

"Oh hey Havoc, Breda." Ed smiled.

"You want some ice cream?" Breda asked, holding out the sundae.

"Uh sure, but after I finish this, kay?" Ed asked. The 2nd Lts. nodded and left. A few minutes later Ed walked out of the office. He grabbed the frozen treat off of Breda's desk and continued walking. Ed nodded his thanks and left. They followed quietly behind him, waiting for the reaction. Riza was walking the opposite direction of Ed and when they were only a few feet apart Ed called out. "Hey, Hawkeye!"

"Hi Ed." She responded. They stopped walking in order to talk.

"Do you want this ice cream?" Ed asked. Havoc and Breda were now worried. They did not want to face the wrath of the first Lt.

"Why don't you want it?" The 2nd Lts. were curious too.

Ed shrugged. "Al liked ice cream and I promised him I wouldn't eat any until we got his body back. It was going to be the first thing we ate together." Riza nodded and took the offered sundae. Breda and Havoc started running down the long hallway. Everything shifted to slow motion. Riza picked up the included spoon and scooped up part of the ice cream. She put it in her mouth, then her eye widened. She swallowed then glared at Ed's retreating back.

"You think this is funny Edward?!" She yelled after him. Breda and Havoc stopped running and hid behind a bench

"What?" Ed turned around confusion clear on his face.

"I don't want anything to do with this pranking going on between you, Havoc and Breda."

"I don't know-"

"You switched the ice cream with mashed potatoes!" Riza was more angry at the fact that she was being included in the stupid pranks. Well, she also was looking forward to the ice cream.

"No I didn't! Havoc and Breda gave me it! I didn't know it was tampered with!" Ed said quickly.

Riza softened her gaze. "Really?"

"Really." Ed nodded.

"Well I guess there is one thing to do." Ed looked at her confused until she pulled out her gun. Ed smiled.

"Hunt them down?"

"Yup." Hawkeye stormed back down the hallway with Ed following, he really didn't have anywhere important to go. His mission could wait a few more hours. Breda and Havoc then tried to scurry away but they were seen before they could disappear. "Breda, Havoc." Riza barked. Instead of stopping they ran full force down the hallway. They ran all the way back to Mustang's office. They slammed the door close behind them. They leaned against the door,panting heavily. Roy smirked and raised an eyebrow in question. "I didn't know Fullmetal was that vicious." He commented.

Panting Havoc replied. "Not...Ed...Hawkeye."

"How did she get it and what exactly was 'it'?" Roy asked the frightened men.

"It was...mashed...potatoes...not...ice cream." Breda replied.

Pounding was heard and the men pushed harder against the door. Havoc locked it but still leaned against it.

"Let me in!" A shot was heard and a hole appeared above Breda's head. He yelped and slid down further. "Hey Ed?" They heard Riza through the door. They heard whispering before they heard Ed.

"Hey Colonel?"

"Yes Fullmetal?" He called back.

"May I use alchemy?"

"Why are you asking?" Roy wanted to know.

"Hawkeye is standing right here."

With a smirk Roy looked at his frightened 2nd Lts. "Sure." There was a clap and the door they were leaning on crumbled to the ground.

"I'll put it back when we're done." Ed said as he stepped through. Riza looked down at the two.

She lifted her gun and clicked the safety off. With that click they ran off like frightened mice. Riza smiled and chased after them. Ed put the door back in place, fixing the bullet hole as he did and chased after the trio with a smile on his face.

"Hey Colonel." Al's voice said. Roy looked up.

"Yes?"

"Have you seen Brother? We're supposed to leave in half an hour."

"Not recent-" Roy was interrupted when Havoc and Breda crashed through his door a second time that day. Havoc's ear was bleeding and Breda was limping. "What happened?" Roy questioned.

"She actually shot my ear!" Havoc yelled.

"I tripped when Fullmetal messed around with the ground we were running on. I landed on my knee." Breda said.

Just then Ed strolled through the door. "There you are Al! We need to catch our train."

"Wait where's Hawkeye?" Breda asked.

"Don't worry I think she's done." Ed waved a dismissive hand before walking out with his brother. The injured men sighed then walked out behind them. Roy went back to his paperwork with a smile on his face. He then heard two screams that made him jump back in his chair.

He heard Riza's enraged voice. "Get back here!"

"You lied Ed!"

Roy then heard Fullmetal laugh before his door closed all the way. Muffling the noise of his subordinates. Smiling he went back to work.

**AN: So? Whaddya think? Thoughts? The next post will be on the 19th.**

**~Dawnmoon (I forgot to do this last chapter. Whoops :0 )**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: So special thanks to Fire From Above. They reviewed every chapter. Also, FallenHope-Angel for you reviewed for all but one. Thank you for your continued support! And thanks to those who review for at least one chapter. P.S. This is my favorite.**

"Happy Birthday Fuery!" Everyone yelled. It was Fuery's brithday and everyone helped to throw a party. There was music, food, and presents. Havoc and Breda were in charge of food when they got another idea for a prank. Quickly they prepared it when everyone wasn't looking, especially Fullmetal and his brother. They then walked out with a tray of caramel apples. They passed one out to everyone.

"Thanks." Ed said when he was handed one. Breda and Havoc passed around a few more before looking back at Fullmetal. He took a bite and continued to talk to Hughes. Breda and Havoc were sorely disappointed. Did Ed know what they did and was pretending nothing was wrong to mess with them? Or did they give someone the apple meant for Ed. They quickly looked around, ignoring everyone who hadn't eaten their apple and screamed. The only people who hadn't taken a bite of their apple right away was, Riza and Roy. They really hoped Riza didn't get it, after their last food relate prank. Riza took a bite and they held their breath. Luckily she didn't have it. Unfortunately it meant that Roy did. The 2nd Lts. were about to go over and make an excuse as to why they were stealing his apple when he took a bite. Again they held their breaths...nothing happened. Huh? Where was the apple meant for Fullmetal. They looked around again seeing if they missed someone the first time. No! They were sure they handed Ed the right one. So...? Why wasn't he reacting? They looked closer at the apple in Ed's hand. They did give him the right one! Problem is, why isn't he doing anything? They walked closer and realized that no they didn't give him the right one. The differences were small and from a distance they thought they were right. Now they were really confused.

"Hey Ed!"

"Hey Havoc, Breda."

"Can I have a bite of your apple?" Havoc asked.

"Get your own." Ed frowned.

"We're still melting the caramel for the next batch and I just can't wait." Havoc wanted the apple back just to make sure.

"Fine." Ed shoved the apple towards him. Breda looked at Hughes and saw him smiling uncontrollably. He was wondering why until he realized that Hughes was standing next to Ed the whole time. Maybe Ed did figure it out and was... oh man.

"Wait Havoc." Too late. Havoc already took a bite. A few seconds later he spit it back out.

"What the-"

"What's wrong?" Ed asked a little too innocently.

"I...what...but...you...THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!" Havoc yelled, gaining the attention of the others in the room.

"What's going on?" Roy asked, not really irritated.

"I don't have a single clue." Breda said.

"Try this!" Havoc shoved the apple towards Breda. All eyes were now on him. He knew Ed did something but didn't know what.

"Um, okay?" He took the apple and took a bite...and got the same reaction as Havoc.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" Nobody was really sure who he was asking.

"Who?" Riza asked.

"Him!" Havoc waved at hand at Ed who was looking confusedly at the apple in Breda's hand.

"I don't see the problem." Ed then grabbed the apple and took a big bite. He chewed and swallowed. Then Hughes decided he couldn't hold it any longer and started laughing. "I think it's quite tasty." Ed smiled a way too innocent smile.

"Alright what did you do, Brother." Al asked.

"Me?! Nothing I just was eating my apple when Havoc here wanted a bite because he was too impatient to wait for his own. It's not my fault he decided to spit it back out." Ed defended.

"Hughes! You taste it!" Havoc demanded and Breda handed the apple over.

After he could breath properly again (no one really sure why he started laughing like a mad man but no one really cared at the moment.) Hughes took the apple and took a bite.

"This is delicious! Just like my own!" He held up his apple then took a bite of it.

"What is going on?!"Riza asked.

"We tried to prank Ed but it didn't work and I would like to know why!" Havoc exclaimed.

"Oh, you mean the caramel covered onion you tried to give me?" Asked Ed in his infuriating innocent voice.

"Yes!" Breda nearly screamed.

"Oh well you didn't do a very good job at hiding the scent." Ed pointed out.

"What does that have to do with it tasting fine to you and Hughes then?" Havoc asked. All the alchemists were staring at the apple still in Hughes grasp. Then, almost as one they broke into laugher. Hughes joined in not long after. Ed just stood there smirking at the blank faces on the two 2nd Lts. All the non-alchemists were just blinking in confusion. They came to the conclusion it had something to do with alchemy. Suddenly the quicker thinking soldiers, namely Riza, started laughing too.

"WHAT IS SO FUNNY?!" Breda and Havoc screamed together. Al was able to control his laugher first so he responded. Sentence interrupted by occasional chuckles.

"Brother- changed half- of the onion- into an apple. Hughes saw it so he knew which side to eat."

"But how?" Breda asked.

"You see to be forgetting something important." Roy put in, still chuckling.

"And what would that- We are so stupid!" Havoc yelled.

"What?" Breda asked.

"First we forget he has a metal arm, electrocuting ourselves, then we forget that he's the Fullmetal Alchemist! I mean really! He used alchemy to change half the onion!" The remaining soldiers who were waiting for an explanation, burst into laugher. Making everyone else who just recovered themselves to start laughing again. Breda and Havoc turned red in embarrassment at everyone laughing at them and their failure.

"Arrggg!" Havoc threw his hands up and stomped out of the room with Breda right behind him. Door slamming as they took refuge in the kitchen.

**AN: Yes! This is my favorite! Hehe. I don't really know why though. Hmmm. What about you? I posted this in the morning because I am busy after school today and won't have a chance and I'm sure you appreciate sooner rather than later. As long as it's Friday you can get post will be on the 26th.**

**Revew!**

**~Dawnmoon**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN: ...ummm...I really don't know...do you? IMPORTANT! I gave the wrong date at the bottom of this chapter. The next post is October 3rd. Other than that it's the same.**

"Hey Ed." Riza greeted Ed as he walked through the doors.

"Hi, is the Colonel here?" He asked.

"No, there was a scene he had to check out. You can wait here for him here." She replied.

"Okay." Ed and Al decided to talk to the others while they waited.

"Hey Ed." Havoc mumbled.

"What? Are you still mad about the caramel onion thing. Let it go that happened a week ago!" With the reminder everyone but Breda and Havoc started laughing again.

"Shut up!" Breda yelled. He looked very close to pouting.

"So how's the paperwork?" Ed asked.

"Heavy. Now please leave." Havoc sighed. Ed left but only after taking the bowl of candy Havoc had on his desk. He ducked his head in order to hid a smile, under the pretense of getting back to work. _Perfect._ Havoc thought. Ed walked away and towards Breda's desk instead. He couldn't hear what they were saying but he was watching closely. Ed then held the bowl out, looking like he was offering some to Breda. _Uh oh. Not good. _Havoc stood up casually and made his way to Breda's desk but when he got there he was at a loss at what to say to warn him. This prank Havoc decided to do solo.

"Hi. Whacha need?" Ed asked.

"I...um...wanted my candy back?" To his ears it sounded like a question more than anything else. It didn't even accomplish the task of warning Breda! He just ended up putting himself in the line of fire for his prank. He slowly took a piece of the wrapped sugar as did Breda and Ed. They unwrapped the candy together although Ed was taking his time. Breda quickly popped the candy in his mouth and Ed stared at Havoc until he too put the candy in his mouth. Ed just stood there with an amused smirk on his face with his piece still only half unwrapped.

And that's how the Colonel found them when he got back. Just the look on Ed's face told him that his 2nd Lts. were either trying to prank him and Ed already knew or the prank backfired on its own.

"What is-" He as cut off by Breda screaming and spitting out the candy that was in is mouth. Havoc following soon after. Everyone else looked up at the trio while Roy stood there, dumbfounded. Al looked just as confused as the Colonel(well as confused as armor can look), who didn't know the events leading up to the scream.

"What the-" Breda couldn't continue for he ran out of the room looking for relief, for Havoc was already draining the glasses of water on everyone's desk.

"You'd think I'd trust any food from you?" Ed asked looking amused.

"What happened?" Roy sighed, he felt like he was asking this question too much.

"I..." Havoc stopped in order to drain another glass.

"He spiced all the candy on his desk. Hoping I'd take one and fall victim. I knew Breda had helped in past pranks but wasn't sure if he was in on this one. Apparently not. What I don't get is why you volunteered yourself to be a victim?" Ed asked turning back towards a sweating Havoc.

"I was trying to warn Breda." He panted. Finally able to get the heat down to a bearable level.

"You did a wonderful job of that." Roy said sarcastically while rolling his eyes.

"Hey!" Havoc yelled rather uselessly. Breda then walked back into the room while chugging a gallon of milk. Havoc dove for the milk and drank the other half.

"What was that?" He demanded.

"Havoc trying to prank me solo." Ed smiled. He was far too amused.

_Click!_ They heard a gun cocking and froze.

"Get back to work." Riza demanded but not as harshly as usual.

A chorus of 'Yes ma'am' s was heard and everyone went back to what they were doing before, still smiling. Well besides a couple of 2nd Lts.

"We are never doing a food related prank again. Agreed?" Breda asked Havoc as they walked out of the office.

"Agreed? Got any other ideas?"

"Just one." With that they left with devilish smirks.

**AN: Dun dun dun. Next post on the 3rd. Review please. It gives me motivation to continue!**

**I'll give you a deal. If I get 10 reviews for this chapter from 10 different people then I'll post chapter eight early. 'Kay? This one is sorta short but not as short as that other one so I'll need reviews. I PROMISE I WILL NOT HOLD CHAPTERS HOSTAGE OFTEN. Plus this is for an early post. Otherwise it will be posted on the 3rd. And I don't want reviews that say 'Update!'(Or any other variation) I wan't feedback and your thoughts. Am I getting repetitive with how it backfires? If I am give me ideas on how to change it later. In chapter 10 Mustang comes in...hehe. Also chapter 10 is the last of my prewritten ones. So after say, chapter 11 or 12 my updates will be slower. Wow, long AN sorry, they're not usually this long.**

**~Dawnmoon**


	8. Chapter 8

**AN: So they do get injured in this chapter but not by Ed...hehe :) Sorry to those who did review but I only got eight reviews. Anyway read the AN at the bottom please!**

"Are you sure this will work?" Breda asked Havoc.

"Yes! It's perfect!" He exclaimed.

"All right." They put back what they took and went back to their dorms.

Ed stomped angrily into the outer office. He was soaked. His bangs were sticking to his face and his red coat stuck to his frame. "Cars and puddles should just avoid each other from now on." He stated. His armored brother was walking through a door with three towels. Ed grabbed one and took off Al's head. Al sat down off to the side and started drying his arms and legs while Ed made sure the seal was fine. After that Ed took off his coats and started drying his arm. His leg was covered by the waterproof leather. "So how is everyone on this wonderfully dreadful, rainy day?!"

"It didn't start raining until after we got here." Hawkeye said.

"Really? Da-"

"I hate the rain!" Roy stormed through the door, unusually late. "Stupid car." He mumbled.

Ed handed him the driest towel, "I agree with you on both accounts." Roy took the towel while giving Ed a weird look. He then took in the boy's wet clothes laying on the side and dripping hair and figured he was having just as a bad day as him. Roy roughly dried his wet hair and threw the towel back at him.

"Why?"

"Because a car decided it would be fun to jump into a puddle! Besides that I like the rain." Ed undid his braid and started drying his hair.

"Brother, cars don't decide to jump into puddles." Al sighed in amusement.

"Fine! Then it decided to drive into the puddle. Happy?"

"Cars don't-"

"Leave it alone! The car was evil let's leave it at that."

"Alright." Al agreed, amused.

"Why didn't you use an umbrella?" Fuery asked of the wet alchemists.

"Don't own one. Plus it isn't even raining that hard. I'm this wet because of the evil car!" Ed said.

"Didn't have an umbrella in the car and I had to walk a few miles." Roy grumbled.

Ed then put his hair in a ponytail. "Okay, let's start the paperwork."

"What?" Havoc asked.

"Colonel threatened to help because apparently half the paperwork was caused by me. It's not my fault that guy decided to let loose a rampaging giant earth snail! Should make him do the paperwork." Ed grumbled.

"You provoked him." Colonel said.

"How?! The snail was rampaging before I even got there!" Ed defended.

"I'm sure the snail wasn't that bad until you got there. Let's go." Roy walked to his office and handed Ed a pile of paper. Ed made his home on the couch by the coffee table.

Several hours passed and Ed was finishing his last paper. He got up and stretched.

"Taking a break? I'd thought you'd have more endurance." Roy smirked while reading another paper.

"Actually, I finished." Roy'd head snapped up to stare at the pile on the coffee table.

"No way." Roy still had about a fourth left of his pile.

"Yup, most of it was reading. Very few had me write anything. I'm going on a snack run. You want anything?"

"No th-"

"WHO DID THIS! I TOLD YOU I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR STUPID PRANKS!" Hawkeye's infuriated voice flew through the closed door clearly.

They looked at each other in surprise then smirked.

"Havoc and Breda are soooo gonna get it." Ed walked towards the door with Mustang close behind.

"What is going on?" Mustang asked. When his eyes left his 2nd Lts. who were currently cowering behind Al. He saw Riza covered in...confetti? And an umbrella in her hand.

"They put confetti in this!" She swung the umbrella around, nearly hitting Ed who had walked closer.

"You guys should know I'd never use an umbrella. No matter the weather." Ed said while inspecting the umbrella. He saw it had a trigger and followed it up to empty tubes that had once been filled with glue. Oh, that's not gonna be fun to get out.

Riza then grabbed her gun an aimed it down at the men's heads, the only part of them that could be seen from behind Al.

"Please, Lt. They didn't mean any harm to you." Al tried to appease.

"But they did. There's glue mixed in with the confetti." Ed said.

"It wasn't meant for her!" Breda squeaked out.

Riza cocked her gun and shot. It hit the inside of Al's calf, ricochet and Breda yelled out. Al then decided if he wanted to continue his existence he should move. Riza then pistol whipped Havoc. It was then revealed that the bullet grazed Breda's foot, causing pain but not fatal. She put her gun away, spun around and stalked away.

"Hey it stopped raining." Falman pointed out.

"Cool. Bye guys! Bye Hawkeye!" Ed called. The other held their breath, waiting for the explosion.

"Bye Ed!" Huh? "Havoc! Breda! You better hope this comes out soon!" There it was.

Ed and Al then left. Leaving Roy to bandage Breda's foot and for Fuery to get ice for Havoc.

**AN: I was wondering what you guys thought of a companion piece to this? Like Ed is purposely pranking them back like with the carmel onion prank. Let me know 'kay? Next post will be one the 10th. Review please! I thank the readers who have reviewed every chapter so far. Here is a cookie (::) :D**

**~Dawnmoon**


	9. Chapter 9

**AN: Hey guys! Can I ask a favor? Review and make me write more chapters. After this one there is only one prewritten one. So chapter 10 so far is the last prewritten one. I have plenty of ideas but...ya. I procrastinate...a lot. Plus homework, I switched schools this year and I was totally unprepared for the homework load. Ah well, enjoy the craziness that is my mind.**

"I thought we said no more food pranks." Havoc said as they snuck into the room.

"This isn't exactly a food prank." Breda said.

"I guess." Havoc scratched his head.

"Perfect." Breda stepped back to admire his work. With a satisfied nod he grabbed Havoc's wrist and dragged him out.

"Hey Ed!" Havoc said cheerily. Ed merely glared. Reason for his bad mood? Nope not the prank the 2nd Lts. set up. They were still waiting on that. Anyway Fullmetal was grumpy because of his most recent mission. Countless citizens from a city Ed had no interest in remembering the name of, kept calling him. Fix this, help me find my cat/dog/bird, even some girls gave them false leads just so they could talk to him! He ran around that stupid town for two days looking for a petty thief. No sleep and infuriating people.

"Hi Ed!" Breda greeted next, smiling. Ed growled at him. Breda quickly dropped his raised hand and shrunk down into his chair. Now why is Ed there if he's so tired? Easy, Mustang wanted him right when they got back, no one really knows what he threatened the boy with but who cares? It got him there didn't it? The 2nd Lts. were a little worried now about their prank. Ed in a bad mood like this and then pranked? Worse than Hawkeye. That's saying something. They had to stop him. Havoc and Breda looked at each other, silently arguing on who would try to stop the tired Ed from going to bed. Havoc lost the long distance rock, paper, scissors and begrudgingly got up to follow Fullmetal who just left the Colonel's office. Absently Breda wondered where Al was.

Once outside the office Havoc approached Ed.

"Uh, hey Ed. Tough mission?" He asked in more subdued tone.

Ed grunted. Typical. Tired/grumpy Ed resulted in grunts for answers and speaking in general.

"R-really? That bad?" He had no idea how to redirect Ed! He was starting to panic.

Another grunt along with a half-hearted swipe at his head. Which he took because dodging would just anger him more. It didn't hurt so why not?

"I bet your hungry. Why not get some food?" He could at least delay him so he could stop the prank.

He just received a glare. He grunted again but this sounded more like a word. Leap? Did he jump a lot? If so what did that have to do with... Oh sleep. He is really dead set on it. Uh...what else? Come on think! They were nearly to the dorm rooms! Tackle him? Knock him out? Yeah he was about to collapse anyway. What if he's injured? Argg! Why did Hawkeye have to yell at them to care for the boys. Whatever, knock him out it is. He shifted slightly to be able to hit him. Suddenly he struck out with his right arm nearly hitting Ed. Ed however saw the shift and got ready. He ducked under the swing, grabbed Havoc's arm, flipped him and started running. He was able to make it to the room. Havoc scrambled up and followed. Ed tried to slam the door behind him but Havoc stopped it. Al, who was reading prior to the interruption, jumped at the sudden appearance of his brother.

"Broth-" He stopped when he saw 2nd Lt. Havoc burst in after him. His brother ran to his room but was tackled by Havoc. They wrestled until Ed was able to get to his feet.

"What is your problem?!" Uh oh. Talking grumpy/tired Ed? Even worse than grunting grumpy/tired Ed. Havoc got up his back to Ed's bed.

"Well you see..." Ed had started walking forward, glaring and growling a bit.

"Brother? What happened?" Al stood in the doorway.

Havoc was backing up until he tripped over a rather big book laying on the ground. He fell back luckily onto the bed...unluckily that was where the prank was. White powder flew up and everyone froze. The powder lazily started it's journey down. Ed blinked then started laughing, crazily. Havoc was trying to get the powder off of his face with his equally powdered shirt sleeve. Ed meanwhile had collapsed onto the floor holding his stomach. Al wasn't quite sure why his brother was laughing on the floor but his focus was captured by the fact that his brother's bed was covered in white stuff.

"2nd Lt.?" Al asked.

"Yeah?"

"What happened?" Why were so many people asking him that? Havoc saw a shadow behind Al and shot off the bed, over the laughing Fullmetal and tackled it. The shadow turned out to be Breda, who had followed to see what would happen.

"We tried to prank your brother again." Breda said from under Havoc who had him pinned.

"How exactly?" Al asked while glancing at his brother, who thankfully stopped laughing crazily but was still chuckling.

"Flour-and-hahahahahaha! Itching powder." His brother answered which made him laugh harder again.

Havoc and Breda then jumped away and started doing what looked like a strange dance. Havoc had transferred some powder to Breda. Al sighed and slammed the door. Breda and Havoc were outside in the hallway already. Now he just had to deal with his insane brother.

"Brother?" Still laughing. Al picked up his brother and took him to the couch. Ed's laugher died down and he was smiling. When his brother was this tired he found that the slightest weird things made him laugh. Al stayed in the dorm room for the report on Ed's insistence. Ed snuggled closer to his brother, Al was wondering how that was comfortable. Al put his brother on the couch and put a blanket over him. He sat on the floor and reopened his book. Ed started to snore lightly.

Outside Mustang was walking by trying to find his subordinates. (Hey, it was a excuse to take a break from paperwork.) Only to find his 2nd Lts. scratching in the hallway. He sighed and shook his head. Really, why does he allow them to do this? Oh yeah, because it's fun watching all of the pranks backfire.

"Clean up and report back when you're done. I want to know everything that happened." The two failed pranksters nodded and danced their way to the bathroom. Mustang walked away chuckling.

**AN: I would like to apologize for the long AN at the top. My usual readers (Never thought I'd say that) know that they are usually short. Anyway, make me write more! I am so mad at myself. Like a month ago I said I would write two more chapters...I didn't. Anyways the companion piece might not come out until Thanksgiving or Winter break. It's not high on my priority list. I'll plan it later. Next post will be on Oct. 17th...I GOT AN IDEA! Like just now. Hehe. I'll make a special one for Halloween! Plus vote through a review 'cause the poll making thing hates me. The options: prank war, everyone gets pranked, some work some don't. OR Ed epically pranks the 2nd Lts. and they almost always or always work. Vote because none of it planned yet and I need a starting point. Again so sorry for long AN. I promise they will be short again next chapter.**

**~Dawnmoon**


	10. Chapter 10

**AN: This one has a prank that I didn't even plan on putting in here, it jut kinda worked. Have fun! **

Mustang and his crew were on an island, similar to the one the brothers were on during their training. They were making sure their skill surviving in the wild didn't get rusty, just in case. They were all allowed a pack with: a water bottle (empty), a water purifying agent, a few matches, dried meat for about three days, and a flashlight. The brothers decided to forgo the packs. They survived this once when they were young so they could do it again. Their goal? Survive three weeks within a certain perimeter then make their way to one of the three pick up points. There was a radio in case there was an emergency. The brothers had one each, just in case.

"Do we really need to do this?" Breda groaned as they made their way to the boat that would take them to the island.

"Yes. What if we get a mission and get lost in a jungle or somewhere else?" Mustang asked.

"I don't see why Al and I have to do this." Ed grumbled. "We already did it once."

"When?" Havoc asked.

"When we were what? Nine and ten? Al?" Ed turned toward his brother.

"Sounds about right." Al shrugged.

"Really?" Fuery asked.

"Yeah." Ed said. They made it to the boat and they all got in. They rowed to the island. As they got closer they saw that the island was big. A mountain rose up against the sky, obscuring the rising sun. They got to the shore and pulled the boat up.

"We will stay together for the first day and night then we separate into groups no bigger than three." Mustang said. They put down their packs and looked through them once more.

"I have an extra water bottle. Does someone need one?" Falman asked.

"Uh, yeah, I need it." Fuery said. They continued to count and switch supplies so that it was all equal.

"Al and I will collect firewood for tonight." Ed got up and stretched. He and his brother left the small group.

"Breda, did you bring it?" Havoc asked.

"Bring what? You weren't supposed to bring anything extra." Mustang narrowed his eyes at the 2nd Lts.

"But what if we said it was to prank Ed?" Havoc asked.

"Well..."

"Sir." Hawkeye said sternly.

"No." Mustang said. Hawkeye only had one gun as a last resort so she didn't want to waste the bullets but she was still scary.

They sat in silence waiting for the brothers to come back. Ed burst back onto the beach laughing madly.

"Brother! Brother! It's not funny! Get it out!" They heard Al first then saw him. Nothing seemed to be wrong, besides Al doing the strangest dance any of them have ever seen.

"Uh, Al?" Mustang asked.

"Brother put a squirrel in me!" Al screeched.

"A squirrel?" Haweye blinked.

Ed was rolling along the sandy beach.

"Brother!" Al growled. Al pounced on his brother who yelped and rolled away. They started to play tag/sparring.

"Should we do something?" Havoc asked.

"Na, they'll be fine." Mustang said as he reclined on the sand.

"Okay." Fuery then started the fire with the wood Ed threw down before being attacked by his brother. Lunch consisted of some dried meat and water that Breda found. They pre-split up and talked with their groups. Ed and Al were together, Falman and Fuery were together, Mustang and Hawkeye got into a pair and Havoc and Breda were in a group. They ate dinner and fell asleep under the stars.

When the moon was high Breda and Havoc made their move. They crept closer to Ed, making sure to stay far enough away as not to wake him. They grabbed the gloves and quickly set up the prank. They quietly went back to their spots and fell asleep.

"HAVOC, BREDA!" Said people shot up from their sleep. When they registered what was said they started laughing.

"Oh, you think this is funny?" They stopped laughing once they realized _who_ was talking. For there was none other than Roy Mustang standing over them holding his gloves.

Ed was sitting up rubbing his face with his _gloved_ hands. The two failed pranksters looked up in dread at their superior. They gulped.

"Ten seconds...nine..." They didn't need any more prompting. They packed up the little things they unpacked the night before and ran full speed into the jungle. The sounds of their comrades laughing slowly fading away.

"How did we mess this one up?" Breda asked angrily.

"I don't-'' Havoc stopped walking. His form slumped down. "Mustang was sleeping perpendicular to Ed."

"What? Oh." Roy brought his gloves for the same reasons Riza brought a gun. Everyone had a last resort/defense in case something happened.

Roy was stomping around the group camp fuming. He wasn't actually going to go after them. Al was kind enough to try to wash the honey off his gloves. Now his gloves will be wet and useless for a while. Mustang growled and kicked a rock into the water. How dare they.

After another hour they all split up. They all set up there own separate camps in their pairs. They spent the rest of the month with little interaction, which the 2nd Lt. were grateful for. On the last night Breda and Havoc found the pair they were looking for. They found them when it was dark and waited for them to fall asleep. They had a nice shelter; a little lean-to and a fire pit not far from it. They climbed in the shelter and Havoc and Breda made their move. After making sure they were asleep they walked closer. They could just make out the blond hair and went closer making sure not to wake them up. They pulled out the air horn and... _EEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRR!_

_BANG! BANG!_

Havoc fell back pressing a hand to his now bleeding left forearm. While Breda held his bleeding right bicep.

_SNAP!_

The 2nd Lts. jumped around trying to put out the fires. When they stopped they saw that their victims lit the fire. Hawkeye and Mustang were sitting up glaring at them. Their disheveled hair, bags under their eyes, and sleepy expression did nothing to distract from the murderous looks.

Breda and Havoc stared wide eyed for a few more seconds before running away just like the first day. Riza and Roy went back to sleep.

The following morning the pick up team were left wondering how the two got bullet wounds when it was only them and their comrades. They wouldn't shoot each other...would they? Ah, what are they thinking, it's Mustang's team of course they would.

**AN: I found my prank list! Yay! So this is the last of the prewritten stories but I am in the middle of writing the next one and the Halloween one. Also, give me prompts/challenges for other shows. There's list on my profile of what I can write about. I'm in a Percy Jackson mood so those are extra appreciated ;) But any of the others will do. Next update: October 24th.**

**~Dawnmoon**


	11. Chapter 11

**AN: Sorry this is late. Well it's still Friday but I like to get it out in the morning but I didn't get it finished until this afternoon. Enjoy! **

Breda and Havoc were staring at a bag on Fuery's desk. It was filled with colorful...worms. In the package next to it there were bears. Bears! And they were tiny.

"Oh hello! What are you guys doing?" Fuery asked.

"Why do you have worms on your desk?" Havoc asked, poking the bag.

"They're call gummy worms and these are called gummy bears." Fuery laughed. "They're candy that my cousin sent me from Xing. They don't taste like worms or bears."

"Oh, can we try one?" Breda asked.

"Sure!" Fuery opened the package and held the bag open for the 2nd Lts. They each took one. Both were still wary about eating a worm shaped candy. They looked at each other then bit off half of the worm. Their eye widened. They didn't know they were so good.

"Can we give one to Ed?" Havoc asked. Fuery shrugged and tilted the bag towards Havoc.

"Cool!"

When they were out of earshot of Fuery, Breda stopped Havoc.

"What?" Havoc asked.

"This is the perfect pranking opportunity! We didn't know what it was. Maybe he won't either!" Breda exclaimed.

"O...kay?" Havoc really didn't see the point but why not.

It was a normal day in the cafeteria. Fullmetal was surrounded in books rather than people. He had sandwich in one hand and a pen in the other. Ed put down his pen and sandwich and stretched. He got up and went to the restroom. Breda and Havoc walked swiftly towards Ed's lunch. Putting the worm in his sandwich. They looked at everyone and saw most of them were smiling or snickering. They snuck away to the lunch line while keeping an eye on Ed. Ed came back and sat down. He picked up his pen and continued writing. His eyes widened and he shot up and ran out of the cafeteria; leaving his sandwich behind. Some people looked disappointed, they wanted Ed to be pranked...successfully. Havoc and Breda walked back over and stared sadly down at the sandwich. They wrapped it up, gummy worm and all and followed Fullmetal to the library.

When they arrived Ed was grabbing armfuls of books down and putting them on the table. He opened three and seemed to be cross referencing them. He frowned and scribbled something out from his notes. He continued to read and the 2nd Lts. walked up to him.

"Hey Ed." Havoc said.

"Hmm." Ed responded.

"Here's your sandwich." Ed, and everyone else, has gotten used to Ed running out from lunch. Whoever was around would bring him his unfinished food. Otherwise, one, he wouldn't eat and two, Al would lecture everyone.

"Thanks." Ed said still staring at his book. Breda set the sandwich down next to Ed and walked with Havoc behind the bookshelf. They stood there a little longer until Ed reached for his sandwich. He took a bite, ending with the gummy worm sticking out of the end. Ed pulled the worm out and stared at it. He examined it, shrugged, then ate it. Breda and havoc were left gaping at him.

Ed was confused on why there was a worm in his sandwich but ate it anyway. It didn't taste like a worm though. He ate worms on the island a few times, maybe they were trying to get soldiers to eat them too. He should research the health benefits of eating worms. He continued to study. Then an idea came. It was most likely Breda and Havoc. Maybe...yes that would be an excellent idea.

The two 2nd Lts. were sitting in the cafeteria a week later. They were glad their last prank didn't backfire too painfully.

"Hey guys." Ed greeted them.

"Hi Ed." They said.

"Any big breakthroughs?" Havoc asked, referring to the time he ran out last week.

"Yeah, but I don't want to say anything yet, it might not work."

"I wonder what prank the 2nd Lts. are trying next." Mustang said to Hawkeye.

"The last prank I heard about was them putting a candy from Xing into Fullmetal's sandwich, sir."

"Why would candy be a prank? Was it like the fake sundae?" Riza scowled when that incident was brought up.

"The candy was shaped like a worm." They stepped into the line.

"Hmm, do you know how that turned out?" Mustang asked

"According to a librarian Ed ate it without question."

"Really? That's-" He was cut off when he heard two screams. All the newer recruits all reached for their guns. While the older ones knew that if there is no explosion there is nothing to worry about. Screaming was normal. Everyone looked over to the table that Ed, Al, Havoc and Breda sat at; Al showing up a later. Both men ran to the trash cans and started throwing up. Ed was laughing his head off on the floor. Al tying to be polite but still laughing a little.

Mustang sighed but with a smile. He wiped it off his face when he reached the laughing 12 year old. "What is wrong with 2nd Lts. Breda and Havoc?" He demanded.

Ed tried to stop laughing but couldn't quite. He stopped but then he would take a deep breath and start laughing again. "Alphonse?" Mustang turned towards the younger brother.

"Brother put worms in their meals." Ending the sentence with a giggle.

"Worms? Mustang blinked.

"Revenge for last week." Al explained.

"We put a fake worm in your food! It was a gummy worm. A candy from Xing!" Breda threw his hands up.

This only served to make Ed laugh harder.

"What I want to know is why you ate the worm if you thought it was real?" Havoc asked.

"I ate a worm or two on the island when Teacher put us there." Ed stopped laughing put was still smiling widely.

"Fullmetal. Don't put worms in people's food." Mustang ordered.

"Can I put-"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"I could-"

"Fullmetal, no." Ed pouted but said nothing more. Everyone new this wasn't the end.

**AN: So a little pranking from Ed, hehe. This chapter will probably be one of a few where Ed pranks back. I still might make a companion. Also I am really sad :'( I got like six reviews...two of them were for a different story. Anyway next post will be on Halloween! It will be Halloween themed and some of the character will be, to some degree, drunk.**

**UNIMPORTANT STUFFS:**

**Will someone write a story for Percy Jackson? I want to read a story of Percy, Paul, Poseidon, Amphitrite, and Triton are kidnapped. Other characters can be involved but I want those five. It should be focused on Paul learning about Percy. Like how powerful he is or how he interacts with immortals. Triton and Amphitrite can hate him or not, doesn't really matter. I'd prefer if everyone stayed alive. Long term damage is okay though. I want to see your spin of this idea. If you do write a story you can request a story (Any fandom listed on my profile.) and I will make that the next story to come out. (Besides Backfire updates.) Even without writing a story you can request something, it just won't be quick to be up.**

**~Dawnmoon**


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: I AM SO SORRY! My computer had a spaz attack and wouldn't connect to my wifi. It really was done on time. This prank idea was given to me by Guesty Ghost (Guest). Enjoy and I hope your still reading Guesty Ghost to see your idea come to life! luluhrh yours is next chapter because I had to split it up into two.**

In hindsight, it probably wasn't a good idea to prank Fullmetal while drunk. What? No Ed wasn't drunk, Havoc and Breda were. It was a halloween party that got started a little too early. Everything else was set up. People, mostly from the military plus their families, started to gather. People dressed up in many different ways. Cats, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, etc. Ed didn't though because well Ed was being Ed. They all mingled in the rarely used ballroom. Fake spiderwebs complete with fake spiders hung from the corners. Al and Ed were hanging out next to the snack table. Havoc and Breda soon joining them.

" 'ey guys. 'ow're you." Havoc slurred out. Ed raised an eyebrow and asked,

"Is it okay to be that drunk this early?"

He only got a shrug from Breda. The two 2nd Lts. stumbled away.

An hour later we find Ed slouched at one of the tables.

"Al let's go." Because as far as he can tell his armored brother isn't having much fun either. Before they could even get up to leave the 2nd Lts. came back. Noticeably less drunk and more crispy.

"Hey guys." Breda greeted.

"Hey." Havoc said.

"Hi. What do you guys want?" Ed asked.

"Only for you to try this." Havoc then brought out some food on a plate. It was meat but that was as far as Ed could identify. The plate was shoved under his nose and he grabbed one. Ed put it in his mouth and was hit with different seasons and spices used on the meat.

"This is good. What is it?" Ed asked.

"Cat." Breda said.

Both Ed and Al froze.

"What?" Came Al's horrified whisper. To bad they didn't notice.

"Cat. C-A-T. You know, meow." Havoc said.

Now multiple things happened at once, making it hard to recount the evenings happenings to Mustang afterwards. Al burst into tears, or as close as you can get in armor. The metal plates shaking and clanking against one another. Hollow sounding sobbing came from within. Al ran off, metal feet clanking. Ed got furious and tackled Havoc into a passing waitress, knocking all three of them to the floor. Breda was so startled he jumped into the arms of the person closest to him who happened to be Hawkeye, who still had her guns. Mustang appeared above the wrestling duo and helped the waitress up making sure she wasn't injured. Hughes then ran after Al. Hawkeye threw Breda sideways and into the table, knocking the punch bowl off and onto Mustang. That made his gloves, pink and useless. He growled and spun around, glaring murderously at Breda.

"Oh, you're gonna get it." Before Roy could take a step forward Fullmetal appeared in front of Breda and picked him up. He threw him to the ground and grabbed the back of his collar. He glowered as he stalked back to a now tied up Havoc. He grabbed Havoc in the same hand (automail, gotta love the superior strength) and dragged them out the door.

"Fullmetal? I was just about to kill them!"

"Yeah, well? Get in line. First they apologize to Al. Then Breda will be at the mercy of Hawkeye and whatever's left of him you can have. Havoc is mine. Said person gulped loudly then mouthed 'help me' to the rest of the room. No one even dared to move. Ed was mad and if you were smart enough you would stay away. After the three left the doorway the music started up again, as if two men weren't being dragged to their deaths. Riza and Roy followed after them. They followed the sounds of crying and found Hughes awkwardly patting Al's shoulder. Ed dropped the two men and stood back.

"Al? We're sorry. It was a prank and we didn't mean to make you cry. We though that Ed would find it gross or something. It was actually beef." Breda said trying to lighten his punishment.

When Havoc didn't saying Riza nudged (coughkickedcough) him while Ed sat on Al's lap, resting his head on Al's shoulder.

"Yeah, sorry Al." Havoc said.

"Really?" Al's voice echoed out.

"Yes, really." Havoc said.

"Oh." They all got the impression that the twelve year old was blushing. "I forgive you."

"Can you convince your brother to?" Breda muttered.

"Nope!" Al chirped.

Ed lifted his head and knocked his metal hand against Al's chest. Ed smiled then glared at the 2nd Lts. He jumped off Al's lap and grabbed the men again.

"Be back in a little while!" Ed called over his shoulder. Riza and Roy exchanged a look and grinned evilly. They chased after Fullmetal who already made it to the training grounds. There he untied Breda and Havoc and let them stand up.

Let's just say the fight was a blur for the men who woke up with various bruises, burns, and what looked to be a bullet grazing. They sat up from their place on the floor and winced. A pistol whip probably caused the headache, that or being punched/kicked by Fullmetal's automail. They stumbled to the infirmary for a different reason than being drunk and fell into beds. Ever since the pranking and the failing have started the nursing staff don't ask questions...yet. They want to know what happened too.

A week later Ed and Al found something very interesting in the floor of the training room. Ed smirked evilly ad looked at his brother.

"I have an idea."

**AN: I have decided to split this into two parts. The second half was taking me too long to write. It will be posted. At the latest Friday. Don't worry luluhrh you idea is the second half of this, though they could be seen as seperate. Again sorry for the delay and I hope to hear from you guys!**

**~Dawnmoon**


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: This one was inspired by luluhrh! It's a continuation of the last chapter...sort of. Ed's getting revenge for that prank so I consider it a continuation. I have decided that instead of a companion peice that I will just include chapters were Ed figures out the prank early and transforms it. Like this one.**

_Previous: Ed smirked evilly and looked at his brother. "I have an idea."_

Decorations from the Halloween party were either in a trashcan or thrown everywhere in a million pieces. Havoc and Breda were walking down the hallway following the Elric brothers down the halls and into the training room. They had set up their prank the night before knowing the two would go in the morning. After the brothers went in they snuck in and watched from behind some equipment. They stood facing each other until Ed attacked bringing his automail foot up to kick Al. Instead Al grabbed his foot and threw him up and behind him into the air. Ed landed and rolled back to avoid a hit from Al. The hidden 2nd Lts. held their breaths. So close! Ed jumped forward again this time with a punch. Al countered with one of his own but Ed ducked under it and close to Al's torso. Using his momentum Ed was able to push Al back.

This pattern went on for a while, making the hidden duo pull at their hair in frustration. They decided they should just leave and wait for the yelling. As they turned the corner away from the training room they passed by Mustang.

"Where are you going? I thought Hawkeye had you trapped." Havoc smirked.

"I'm going to spar with Fullmetal." Mustang answered.

"Why? I though-" Breda was interrupted by a loud "BROTHER.' coming from the direction they came from.

All three men ran the rest of the way to the training room and stopped in the doorway. Ed was laying on the floor seemingly unconscious. Al's hands were fluttering uselessly over his brother's limp form. Ed's breathing was harsh and irregular and scared the men more than they liked to admit.

Mustang snapped out of it first. He swiftly started to walk towards the brothers when the floor gave out from under him. He fell and landed in a hole. Two other people fell with him making his face squish into the wall. He cursed and shoved the two people away from himself. Turning around he saw that it was Breda and Havoc. He sighed, thankful that it wasn't Ed and Al that fell with him. Ed may be short but that automail adds quite a bit of weight.

"We don't have time for this! Fullmetal is..." Mustang trailed off when he heard laughing from two people. I was identified as Al's for his was echoey and hollow. The other...was Ed?

Confirming his thoughts Ed popped his head over the side of the hole they were stuck in. The hole was round in shape and barely had enough room for the three men to stand together. It was also very deep. Even when Mustang put his hands up he was still inches away from the top.

"Fullmetal!" Mustang yelled sharply, making the other two trapped men flinch from the loud volume in such a mall space. "Why is there a hole in the floor!?"

"I don't know it was their idea." Ed said pointing at the 2nd Lts. still laughing.

The Colonel's glare was directed at the men instantly. "Why?...no better question, how?"

"Um...we might have told Major Armstrong that this was going to be part of new training equipment." Havoc said.

"And the why?"

"To prank Ed." Breda said.

"Hey, what's the liquid at the bottom?" Al asked, his head peeking over the side.

All three men looked down and saw pink sudsy water at the bottom up to their knees.

"Girly smelling soap." Breda said.

Mustang brought his hand up to snap. He glared at the other two again. "I have a date and I can't go to it if I smell like a woman!" He snapped only to receive soap in his eye. His glove had gotten wet from the initial fall. He cursed and put a hand to his eye only to make it worse when more soap entered his eye. He quickly ripped off his gloves and threw them at his 2nd Lts. and tried to wipe the soap away. He distantly heard clanking metal and Ed's loud laughing. Of course the brat would think this was funny. Al came back and dropped a wet towel on Mustang's shoulder. Grabbing it Roy quickly wiped at his eyes.

"Can you get us out?" Havoc yelled up.

"Yeah...but I'm not." Ed said causally.

"Brother!"

"What? They deserve it."

"Not the Colonel!"

"Um...Al?" Ed said.

"What?"

"Have you met the Colonel?"

"You know I can hear you, right?" The mentioned Colonel said up blinking his eyes rapidly.

"Yeah, we know. We're going to get lunch see you in a few hours!" Ed said cheerily. He disappeared quickly.

"Wait! It doesn't take a few hours to eat lunch!" Mustang yelled up. His only reply was distant laugher.

A few hours later...

Ed was full from his three hour lunch break,

and had many pages in his journal filled with new research.

Al had a productive three hours of finding homes for little street cats.

Havoc had a slight concussion,

burned shoulder,

and black eye.

Breda had an impressive bruise on his shin,

bruised ribs,

and no eyebrows.

Mustang marveled at the idiots ability to ramble on about stupid things for two and a half hours straight,

found new ways to harm people in close quarters,

a new limp,

and that he should get faster drying gloves,

his took forever to dry out.

Hawkeye was down one bullet,

and patience for the 2nd Lts. failed pranking was thinning.

The rest of the building was left wondering why three hours ago they heard Fullmetal cackling down the hallway with a meowing suit of armor,

wondering why the infamous Colonel was yelling and cursing so much in the mean time,

and why the doors to the training room were sealed shut with alchemy.

All in all it was a pretty good day for everyone.

Mustang got rid of some stress.

Hawkeye got to shoot some one.

Ed got a long lunch and research.

Al got to play with cats.

And Havoc and Breda...well it was a good day for everyone else.

**AN: And there you go! If you couldn't tell Hawkeye shot Mustang in the leg. Hoped you like it luluhrh! Next update will be next Friday the 14th...or Saturday the 15th. Review!**

**~Dawnmoon**


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: So this is sorta an apology chapter for posting the Halloween chapter late. It's really short but I hope you like it. Ed is more actively pranking some one! Tehe...**

When Havoc walked into the office one moring he had no idea what to make of the reactions he got. Breda looked frustrated but then started laughing. Ed burst into laugher while Al trieds not to laugh too loudly, that would be rude. Fuery looked surprised and kinda stuck like that; Falman stared but otherwise didn't do anything. Hawkeye smiled slightly, barley noticable and was gone in an instant and Mustang just raised an eyebrow. Havoc froze in the doorway and stared at everyone.

"What?" Havoc asked the room. They all shared a look and seemed to agree on something, well except Ed because he was still rolling on the floor laughing.

"Nothing Breda just told us ah...an interesting story." Mustang smirked. "You just happened to come in at the end."

"O...kay?" Havoc stilled looked freaked out but continued to his desk and started to work because the reactions were still too weird and it was such perfect timing too.

"Come on brother we have...stuff to do." Al said and they could hear the smile in his voice. Al ended up dragging his brother behind him out the door.

Several hours later finds Havoc even more confused and just a little frustrated. Every room he walked into he got strange looks or people just started flat out laughing.

He was near the end of his rope. His jaw still hurt rom his failed prank. Yes his, not the hole in the training ground one. It was stupid, he should have learned. He went back into the office after his frustrating trip down to the cafeteria. Ed came back in but couldn't make it three steps before dissolving into laugher. Havoc was about ready to strangle the kid but knew Ed would beat him into the ground, quite literally too.

"What is so funny?!" Havoc snapped and everyone froze. Havoc was a pretty relaxed guy. It was strange to hear him so...upset.

"You really thought I wouldn't notice that my hair was cut?" Because Ed would never use the word short.

Havoc gulped and unclenched his fist.

"Plus you accidentally set off my prank." Breda said.

_Flashback_

_Havoc snuck behind Ed who was snoring on the couch in Mustang's office. Ed was even more wiped out then usual due to a long mission. Havoc tiptoed quietly and kneeled next to Fullmetal. He grabbed Ed's braid and cut the bottom off but was stopped by a fist to his jaw. Thankfully not the automail one. He grumbled and walked off. _

_Later he had to use Breda's dorm room phone because his was broken. Breda seemed reluctant but relented. Ed was there talking with Breda beforehand but left soon after Havoc was done on the phone._

"Here." Hawkeye handed him a hand held mirror. Havoc's jaw dropped when he saw his face. On the lower right side of his jaw and his ear were black markings. Circles with different statements. 'I'm a unicorn!' 'I love to eat worms.' (In reference to a failed prank.) and many more. In the mirror he saw another one come up behind him and it made him gasp. His already short hair was shaved into a design of a transmutation circle. The circle was dyed black making it easier to see. Mustang, Ed and Al started laughing again and Havoc realized why all the alchemists he ran into laughed harder than the rest. It was some crazy alchemist encoded insult, he was sure of it. This time he did dive for Ed. The alchemist ducked out of the way, eyes dancing with mirth.

"Oh cheer up. The black on your face can be washed out and your hair will grow out." Ed said. "Or you could shave your head and get rid of it quicker."

"What does the transmutation circle mean?" Havoc asked.

"Nothing." Ed said.

"It means _something_."

"Well yeah, but we're not going to tell you." Mustang joined in.

Havoc growled and stalked out of the room, soldiers and especially alchemists laughing as he walked to his room.

The next day Havoc walked into the office with a cold head. All of his hair was mostly shaved off. It was really short...and bright pink. One look at his shampoo would tell you how. He was informed that the pink wouldn't come out...he would have to cut his hair. He just couldn't win could he?

**AN: So the cutting of Ed's hair was given to me by The Anime Alchemist. Thanks for the idea! It's a little different than what you said but I figured it worked in this chapter. If you want me to I can make another chapter but with the ending you orginally gave me. I mean, THREE PRANKS IN ONE CHAPTER. I feel it's a little rushed but I couldn't expand it more. And don't worry, there'll be a post on...most likely Saturday because I'm busy Friday. And I would just like to take the time and say, wow this is getting popular. Also I'm proud to say I have been almost consistant with updating and I thank your patience during Halloween. I never thought it would get this long but your reviews and ideas were something that encouraged me to continue. Thanks! Review please!**

**~Dawnmoon**


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: I just HAVE to say this now. Thank you Fire From Above. You have been there since the very first chapter, review and being supportive and now I am finally fulfilling your request. I apologize it took so long. The idea never stuck or grew until now. Enjoy! **

**...and I'm sorry I disappeared last week. Basketball season started and I was so tired. Updates are moving to Sunday/Monday (Not including this upcoming one.) Again sorry and Review Please! ( I'm also sad because my squiggles disappeared except the one in front of my name. And I refuse to use the line break this site provides. :( )**

Ed sat up on his bed and stretched. He had come back from a mission with his brother and crashed when he came back. He stood up and went on with his morning routine. He put on his shoes and walked out the door. Al was already gone and probably in the library. Ed had to report to Mustang now since he went straight to bed. Yawning once again he pushed the doors open, quite violently. He may be tired but his automail arm can pack a punch. Walking forward he was stopped by Breda.

"Hey Ed." Breda greeted, with a very badly suppressed smirk.

"Hello." Ed said carefully, staring critically at the man. He narrowed his eyes, which in turn made Breda step back to his desk. Ed continued walking to Mustang's office.

The report was the usual, started out normal enough then Roy just could not stop teasing Ed. Ed stomped out and was not seen again until lunch.

Ed walked back into the office with his brother in tow. They had decided a while ago the they would go out for lunch that day. Ed past the threshold and reached his arm to the side to grab the car keys. It was the only way to insure he wouldn't get stuck squished in the back. He would hold the keys hostage, get in, then throw the keys to whoever was driving that time. But this time his hand came up empty. He paused and looked at the hook on the wall. Yup, the keys were still there. He reached out again but found himself reaching up higher than before. He scanned the wall. No old holes and no alchemy marks. Keys in hand he turned back towards the room, not missing the amused looks on Breda and Havoc's faces.

"Okay let's go." The Colonel said, shrugging on his jacket.

They walked in a group to the cars. Getting in the passenger seat Ed threw the keys to Hawkeye. The only person he trusted behind the wheel. Of course her driving was dangerous but she knew what she was doing. Mustang however...he got his license revoked by his team. Hawkeye and Ed were in the front, Falman, Fuery and Mustang in the back. The other car had Breda driving with Havoc up front and Al in the back.

When they got to their usual place they got in line. Ed noticed something strange. The menu that stood on the counter was slightly higher. The words were on the line above the line they should be on. He was going to whisper something to Ed but the cashier interrupted him.

The day passed by with a few more instances on things being higher than they should be. Ed went to bed, determined to find out just what those two idiots did.

A week passed by. A week! And Ed was still confused. No taunts, no teasing and nobody said anything and it was driving Ed insane! Until that day...

Putting his shoes on in the morning was routine, easy. But one day he picked up one of his shoes and dropped it. It sounded different. He squinted at it then realized...these weren't his shoes! They were an inch shorter (I AM NOT SHORT-) than his normal ones. Putting his shoes down he made a plan.

Breda and Havoc walked into the office and went to their desks. When they sat down they hit the seat sooner than normal. Their feet almost didn't touch the ground! They shrugged if off and started to work (doodling).

Ed walked in and loomed over their desks. Now the Fullmetal Alchemists is not tall enough (YOU ARE YOU CALLI-) to loom. He smirked then walked into Mustang's office, the door closing behind him.

The next day Havoc and Breda had a feeling something was up. One was that Ed was taller (I WAS NEVER SHORT YOU-) than before. Well, everything was higher than before. There desks and chairs and signs and people! It was extremely weird to use the bathroom now.

They knew it was Ed but they had no proof, besides the smug looks. Even the stoic Hawkeye looked smug! She usually ignores them!

A week later they had had enough. The top of the desks were at the shoulder height. Everyone was taller ( OF COURSE! BECAUSE I WAS NEV-) and it was impossible to do anything! Finally they grew some and marched up to Fullmetal who was on a ridiculously high couch.

"Hey guys." Ed said.

"Stop it now, whatever it is stop it." Breda said.

"We get it! You can prank back." Then Havoc mumbled, "It was easier when you were oblivious."

"Okay!" Ed said a little too cheerily. He jumped down from the oversized couch and clapped his hands. He put them on the floor and the room flashed with blue light. Before their eyes everything in the room shrunk down...including them.

"What!?" They yelled together.

"Hmm?" Ed hummed like nothing was wrong.

"We're still short!" Breda exclaimed.

Ed glared but for the sake of the prank he didn't explode (I REALLY WANT TO THOUGH YOU STUPID AUTHORESS! CUTTING OFF ALL MY RANTS! I WANT TO-) he kept a calm face and looked at them.

"No, I returned everything to normal." Ed said casually. Then he walked out of the room. Everything was still taller than them but not as much as before.

Finally the day came that everything returned to normal. No lights, no jokes it just returned to normal. They were once again taller than Ed ((I-) SAY ONE MORE WORD AND YOU WILL BE SEVERELY INJURED IN THE FUTURE!) Everything was normal once again.

Later they discovered that Ed had use alchemy to make everything around them higher and made them slightly taller each day so that at the end they could shrink. Shoes were the answer. Lifts in everyone's shoes made them taller (...).

They never stopped grumbling about that failed prank and Ed never stopped gloating.

**AN: Oh! and if you like the Avengers I wrote a story for that... it's not very good though. I'm not that happy with it but it's decent. Review!**

**~Dawnmoon**


	16. Please Read I'm Sorry Post

Not a chapter...sorry guys. I have had the busiest weeks ever. Sports, homework and an extra thing I have to do I have 12-13 hour school days some days. I have decided to take a break from writing. Just until my Christmas break. I will post a new chapter hopefully before or on Christmas (Sorry to those who don't celebrate. Don't mean to offend or exclude.) I hope to make it Christmas/Holiday themed but have no plan or ideas yet so if you'd like to help me with that that would be appreciated. Well any ideas really, I'm running out. Again sorry guys.

Is there any other Fullmetal plots you want to see from me? I think I need a break from writing so many happy pranks (I write dark sad things best...yeah, I promise I'm not completely insane.) So any ideas that aren't super happy or have main character death.

**I PROMISE A CHAPTER CLOSE TO CHRISTMAS! I SWEAR ON THE STYX! **(I know I said that before and was late but it was my computer/internet's fault!)

**~Dawnmoon**


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